As the year draws to a close, I invite you to ask yourself if you are an emotionally intelligent leader. If you are unsure what this means and whether it matters, read on!

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) centres on recognising your emotions and how they impact your relationship with others. In addition, it is the ability to recognise and respond appropriately to the emotions of others.

You may be wondering what this has to do with leadership. So, let’s consider the responsibilities of a leader. The role involves motivating others, effective communication, overcoming barriers, resolving conflict, building engagement and optimising potential. Now, you can only achieve these when you have an emotional connection with the people in your team.

Why is Emotional Intelligence Important for Leaders?

You may have gained your leadership role through academic success, industry experience and technical competence. However, this is not enough to involve and inspire your team. What you need is to be self-aware and socially aware. And, that is emotional intelligence.

“Know thyself. If we want to develop more effective leaders, we have to start with ourselves.” – Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries

With technical advances, emotional intelligence is the one thing that sets humans apart from machines. As AI advances, the value of a high IQ is diminishing as machines can learn, analyse and report facts and processes at a faster rate than people. Therefore, technology is replacing roles that were previously held by the most highly educated individuals, as well as routine tasks.

What machines lack is emotional insight. As such, they can mimic, but not understand the nuances of human relationships. So, they can’t read a room and adapt their communication or show empathy.

The Best Leaders are Emotional Intelligent

The most prominent psychologist in the field of emotional intelligence is Daniel Goleman. He didn’t come up with the term, however, he has researched and written about it extensively. As a result of his collaborative studies, it has been identified that the common trait of all outstanding leaders is the ability to tap into emotions and fully engage with the team.

I teach my students the Daniel Goleman EQ model, which has four pillars:

Self Aware

• Being clear and realistic about your strengths and weaknesses
• Understanding how your emotions impact others
• Being receptive to honest feedback
• Recognising and acting on areas for improvement

Self Management

• Taking control of your emotions
• Responding rather than reacting, so words and actions are considered not impulsive
• Having a positive problem-solving outlook
• Being able to adapt

Socially Aware

• Recognising emotions that other people display
• Able to see things from alternative perspectives
• Curious and keen to understand
• Open to fresh ideas and opinions, even if you don’t agree with them

Relationship Management

• Showing respect and empathy for others
• Able to actively listen without interruption or judgment
• Competent at handling issues fairly
• Approachable, engaging and empowering

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence

While good teachers and proactive learning have a positive impact on the brain at any age, our IQ is fairly stable. However, we can develop and improve our EQ and improve how we get along with others.

Daniel Goleman suggests a good starting point for everyone is to get into the habit of listening. Initially, it is difficult to fully focus on what someone else is saying, to not get distracted or want to jump in with our comment. Yet, the more we make time to listen, the easier it is to see things from their perspective, to avoid misunderstandings and to show respect.

A focus on listening isn’t non-communication on your part. Instead, it is about hearing someone out, asking questions that encourage further discussion and waiting your turn to speak. What’s more, as we talk less and listen more, we build our knowledge and understanding.

Another way to develop emotional intelligence is through 360° feedback. Being open to the honest views of others helps identify strengths and areas for improvement. I use 360° feedback as an assessment tool in recruitment, as well as to aid leadership development. Are you intrigued to know how others perceive you?

Do you have an EQ Leadership Style?

The majority of managers have confidence in their leadership style, do you?

I invite you to answer the following questions:

• Do your team find you approachable, supportive and inspiring?
• Are your team driven to put in their best performance because you’ve empowered and encouraged them?
• When things go well, do you recognise everyone’s contribution to that success?
• Do you accept responsibility and apologise when you get things wrong?
• Are you aware of what motivates you to achieve and how that might differ from what motivates other members of your team?
• What words would your team use to describe you?

I ask these questions to encourage you to reflect on your leadership style. It is interesting that although the majority of leaders describe themselves as self-aware, studies* published in 2018 revealed that only 10-15% of leaders are.

What’s more, poor managers are one of the top reasons** why people leave a company. Therefore, talent retention is another reason why developing emotional intelligence is a must for every leader.

So, whether you are embarking on a leadership role or are a long-standing manager, embrace emotional intelligence, learn about it and keep developing your relationship skills.

Contact us to find out more about our emotional intelligence training and coaching.

*https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it

**https://hrnews.co.uk/over-two-thirds-of-uk-workers-have-quit-or-considered-quitting-their-office-job-due-to-poor-management/